Dear Bubbies: I'm Scared To Get Married

Is it worth it?

July 3, 2019
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Dear Bubbies,

I've been with my boyfriend for six years.  We moved in together six months after we met and he is the most caring, wonderful man.  We've been through a lot together and he is always there for me and always supportive of me.

We are both in our late (very late) 20s.  We've been engaged for four years and he wants to get married.  I want to but I'm afraid since my parents and his parents are divorced, and I've seen my friend's relationship blow up once they married.  I only want to get married once.  How do I overcome this fear?

Scared to Get Married

 

Dear Scared to Get Married,

Listen to the Bubbies.  We know.  There are two emotions at work here - love and fear.  Decide to choose love.  You are not your parents.  You are not your friends.  Love and commitment is a decision.  We can tell from your question that your love is strong.  Your bond is strong - even stronger than one of our suitors, Daniel, who picked up Bubbie Bunny on one of the episodes of Bubbies Know Best.

Now most importantly, there seems to be mutual respect between you and your boyfriend.  True love is steeped in respect - as Bubbie Bunny’s Aunt Laura told her years ago.  Bubbie Bunny would call Aunt Laura and tell her how much she loved a man who was not treating her well.  Aunt Laura would ask, "do you respect him?"  Bubbie Bunny would think about it and in the end, always said no. 

That was when Bubbie Bunny’s eyes began to open as to what was true and healthy love.  Aunt Laura and Uncle Scotty have been married for almost 70 years and you can still see that sparkle of love between the two of them.

And recently, Bubbie Bunnie was at a party and saw her friends from Detroit, Barbara & Ernest and Jasmine & J.  These two couples acted like such “lovebirds” and we Bubbies know that you and your future fiancée (let it be) will be singing sweet music to each other for years to come.

Darling, if you can say that you have a man who is always supportive of you, you are one lucky woman.  You have won the lottery with this one.  The Bubbies are getting verklempt (that means on the verge of tears in Yiddish) just thinking about it. 

Honey, you need to grab this guy up quickly. As a matter of fact, as soon as you get done reading this column, give him the biggest hug and tell him that you will marry him!  Trust the Bubbies.  The ladies will be lined up around the block for this guy if you let this one go.  He has stayed by your side for six years because he wants you and nobody else.  Give him the gift of your trust that he has earned through his actions. 

Don’t get us wrong.  We understand your fears.  Bubbie Bunny comes from divorced parents, but her parents taught her lessons through their mistakes that have helped Bubbie Bunny create a different destiny.  So, we are rooting for you and know that you can become "Aunt Laura.”

One of the Bubbies’ favorite Jewish Proverbs has become - “Who acts from love is greater than who acts from fear."  Act from love, my dear.  Act from love.

The Bubbies love you.

You can watch Host Erin Davis and your favorite Jewish Grandmothers - Bubbies Bunny, Linda and S.J. - on Bubbies Know Best on Jewish Life Television, JLTV, Mondays at 8:00PM.  In the Detroit metropolitan area, JLTV can be found on DirecTV Channel 366 and Spectrum Channel 178.

If you would like to ask the Bubbies a question, you can email them at bubbiesknowbest@jltv.tv.

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