Dear Bubbies: I'm Lonely, Where Do I Start Finding That Special Someone?

July 31, 2019

Dear Bubbies,

I am a 27-year old lonely female.  My company recently transferred me to Detroit and I don’t know where to start finding that special person.  I was never very good at meeting guys as I am shy and, now, living in a new place. I feel lost and my clock is ticking.  I am sitting home and getting more and more depressed about becoming an old maid.  Please help! Thanks Bubbies.  

From: Lonely in Detroit


Dear Lonely in Detroit,

You’ve got to be kidding!  Lonely in Detroit?  The Motor City ranks number 7 on the Forbes list for "Best Cities for Single Women."  44% percent of the population is single.  Now, with those statistics, let’s get you out of the house and motor yourself onto the market.

Shy or not, join a club, take a class, volunteer somewhere.  Detroit has a dynamic nightlife, running clubs, sporting clubs – you name it.  How about heading to a coffee house or taking a bicycling class?  How about going to a Tigers baseball game?  Okay, they may not be having the best season this year but who cares. Everyone in Detroit loves their sports.  These are all places that you can find your bashert (that means your soulmate in Yiddish)

Make the move to create the life you want - now.  Get out of the house!  Take your twenty-four golden hours each day and live with discovery and excitement.  When you get interested in something, the shyness falls away. 

Make a list of your qualities and what you have to offer in a relationship.  Then, make another list of what you are looking for in a partner. All the while, we need for you to be impressed with yourself. 

Some personality traits are universally attractive to men like having confidence - believing in your value and worth.  If you don't believe in your value, there's no way a man will.  Obviously, your company is impressed with you enough to have transferred you.  You are worthy!

And don't buy into the concept that physical attraction is the most important thing. Mass media, movies and magazines have made women believe that myth.  Believe the Bubbies, we know that there is a "lid" for every "pot".  There is somebody out there for all of us.  Be the person you want to date and, above all, start loving and appreciating yourself. 

And, what is this "your clock is ticking?”  You are the one who ticks your clock.  Don't buy into the concept of when time is up for you as a female. Snap out of that artificial construct.  The Bubbies give you permission to pick a half hour a day to write down any upsetting thoughts you may have, put them in a "Worry Box" and get on with your life.

Bubbie Bunny has a friend named Pam, who many years ago, at dinner time, set the table for two, even though she was the only one sitting at the table. She was sure that she would be filling that seat across from her with her soulmate, her bashert.  And, guess what?  She did.  And, she is happily married and, someday, will be a Bubbie herself.  How is that for positive action and positive thinking?

There is a great Jewish quote -- "no one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.”  So listen to the Bubbies.  Motor City is hopping.  So get jumping.

The Bubbies love soon-to-be no longer lonely in Detroit. 

You can watch Host Erin Davis and your favorite Jewish Grandmothers - Bubbies Bunny, Linda and S.J. - on Bubbies Know Best on Jewish Life Television, JLTV, Mondays at 8:00PM.  In the Detroit metropolitan area, JLTV can be found on DirecTV Channel 366 and Spectrum Channel 178.

If you would like to ask the Bubbies a question, you can email them at